Where Is She?

I recently gave you two articles regarding discovering and fulfilling your purpose.

I hope you took some time out to do some personal digging.

If you didn’t, it’s not too late.

Give it a go!!

Hey! I even gave you a warm Christmas message in between!

Gosh I’m a nice guy!

But today …hmmm….sorry ….just a little bit of controversy. Tiny.

Weeny. Honest!!

During a bbm chat with a friend of mine about ‘finding the right partner’ I asked her, “So what type of man are you looking for?”

No I was NOT chatting her up.

Actually now I think of it maybe I was!

“A man who is God fearing, and who I respect,” she replied.

A decent enough answer.

“I can do that” I thought to myself.

Only joking people!!!

I repeat – I did not have a hidden agenda. Although she really is damn fine.

But alas, a friend she is, and a friend she shall remain.

But as I reflected on her answer a few hours later I coudn’t help feeling a little saddened by it.

Why?

What about love?????

For what for many is a Continuous roller-coaster search for the right partner / package,  love not only seems to have flown its nest, but has also purchased a non refundable single ticket to the kalahari desert!!

When did she leave?

No idea.

Rumour has it she created a clone and left decades ago. And now it seems that even her clone has had enough, as she (the clone) was spotted walking out of the travel agents’ a few days ago!

Am I exaggerating???

Hmmm…

An old family friend recently said to me “Young man(I love it when he says that – makes me feel young again – like I’m in my 20s or something!!!), what are you waiting for? Find a good woman; one that is God fearing and respectful. Start a family with her. You don’t need to be in love.”

I must admit that whilst a little shocked by his statement it actually seemed to make a little sense – for a few seconds anyway.

Call me a prehestoric romantic, or whatever you want to call me, but I choose to believe in ‘LOVE’.

Surely even in this day and age it is still possible to meet someone, fall in love, be friends, plan together, and live happily ever after. Surely????!!

Or

Meet someone, be friends, attraction increases, fall in love, plan together, and live
happily ever after. Surely!!!!!!

So – what is Segs talking about today?

Simple

Where has love gone?

Will she be coming back?

And is she (love) a necessary ingredient for a happy relationship / partnership / marriage???

I’ve touched on more than one occasion in my articles about the “package deal”. By this I mean the “doing well, upwardly mobile, great potential, has a nice car, nice watch, fears God, and ambitious – doing well”.

We hear this in most churches accross the nation every Sunday.

Whilst there is nothing wrong with this,  I’m rather concerned that not only is mammon chipping away at the fundamentals of Christianity – love and serve God / love and serve your neighbour; but that old lover of money is now niggling away at the fundamentals of relationships / partnerships / marriages, friendships, unity, LOVE – selfless love.

We live in an age in which selfless love seems all too alien to our natural senses.

I of-course include myself in all this.

We have perfected the art of “loving on condition of”.

Think about it – on condition of;

For you ladies;

– Financial Liquidity

– Has a nice car

– Has a good job and is going places 

– God fearing (whatever that actually means)

For you men

– respectful

– good wife material

– good mother material

– humble

Very rarely do we hear the word “love” mentioned.

There is of-course nothing wrong with any of the conditions listed above.

Indeed every man and woman is entitled to freely make their own choice – and should never be judged.

But when was the last time you heard someone say ” I want to meet someone I’ll love and cherish, and who will love and cherish me”?

Would be quite refreshing wouldn’t it??!!!

Maybe our churches should focus a little more on the importance of love in relationships????!!! And what love actually is??!!!

Heaven knows we ALL need it.

There is however a more recent and more radical view point, which whilst at first sounds utterly ridiculous and more than a tad ‘immoral’, but on reflection actually makes a some sense.

Are you ready for this????

Get out there and have as much fun as you can. If you have a few flings along the way then so be it.

Why?

Because by doing so you stand a better chance of finding a friend – one way or another.

My concern with this view however is that the chances of hurting a few feelings along the way are fairly high.

The alternative of-course is to sit still, behave, and hope for the best. Also a good option.

The one thing that most people seem to agree on is that your partner / wife / husband should be your friend – your companion – warts and all. Lol

Can you remember the parable of the sower? The seeds that fell on good soil but were suffucated by the thornes of the pressures of this world?

This parable relates to love – both in terms of our love for God and our love for each other.

Most of us have a natural inclination to love and be loved.

However is it possible that the pressures of this world, as stated in the parable, have suffucoted our ability to love and be loved???

Pressures??

What pressures???

Oh let’s’see now – he / she must look right, talk right, walk right, sound right – be going places, cook well, is financially liquid, nice car, property, excellent prospects, fear God etc etc.

Why all these conditions?

Because they are fed to us directly and indirectly on a daily basis by friends, family, tv, magazines, gossip, and so much more – leading to an inevitable tendency to compare, compare, and compare some more.

Can you see it now?? – the good seeds of love that were suffocated by the pressures of the world?????

By the way – this ‘fear God’ thing that we all love to say – even demons fear God. But that doesn’t mean that they want to do good.

Surely better to change this to ‘loves God’ – right??!!!

Just a thought.

So – in a nutshell what I’m saying is this;

Love was NOT on that BA flight to the Kalahari desert.

She’s still here.

Keep searching

And if you make a few mistakes along the way, dust yourself up and try again.

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One thought on “Where Is She?

  1. Anonymous says:

    Very well written Shegs, i believe shes still here too and everyone should make an effort to find her.

    Have a very happy 2013

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