As another Premier League season (all-be-it a rather tedious one) draws to an end, with Arsenal once again fighting for that glorious ‘trophy’ of ‘fourth place’, many can’t help but feel that the days of those triumphant North London victory parades are not only gone, but never to return again.
But as I pointed out to my brothers yesterday, in football, everything goes in cycles.
Who could have imagined in the 1980s’ that Liverpool would go twenty years without winning the league title??!!
Just as the thought of Manchester United not winning the league title these days seems quite absurd, a time will surely come when they don’t win it for a very, very long time.
I say that out of the reality of the ‘cycle’ and not out of bitterness or gall.
In the same vein there are indeed times in life when one is so steeped in pain and anguish that it seems as though it will never end; as though all the world’s misery has been stored up solely for the purpose of causing you, and only you, neverending days of torture and turmoil.
What am I talking about specifically?
I’m talking about divorce.
Lol…I hear your groans.
“Oh no – he’s on about divorce again. When will he stop????”
The fact is there are so many people going through that pain right now.
People that feel as though they are failures; as though they are paraiahs; that society has not only judged them but also consigned them to endless years of guilt and loneliness.
The basis of Christianity is that of forgiveness.
Jesus told us to ‘go and do likewise’.
In other words He wants us to love and forgive – just as He loves and forgives us continuously.
Yet we christians seem to be the most unforgiving of all.
Rather, we like nothing better than to judge and slander one another.
I recall shopping for groceries in Shopright towards the end of November 2011, a few weeks into the process of my divorce. I bumped into an old friend of mine – a few years older than me and someone I genuinely look up to.
He asked me how I was doing.
I replied, “Actually, not too good. I’m going through a rather rough patch – going through a divorce.”
After his initial shock and sadness he proceeded to tell me what he had been going through in his personal life.
Let’s just say that I was a tad alarmed to hear that he was going through a very similar experience.
He was relieved to be able to speak freely with someone about it without feeling as though he would be judged or deemed to be some kind of failure.
The unforgiving nature of our society encourages many of us to suffer in silence.
Whilst this may seem stoic to some, for many others the anguish of going through such pain alone makes the experience not only much worse, but at times unbearable.
Last year I facilitated a free divorce seminar.
The seminar was a great success, in that it enabled delegates to speak openly about their experience in a non-judgmental environment.
I don’t encourage divorce in any shape or form, and I never will.
If there is any chance that you can mend your relationship then I urge you to do so with all your might.
For those of whom it is too late I say this.
“Get Up And Walk”.
Divorce is NOT your end.
God has not given up on you.
He never will.
And don’t you dare misinterpret what God says about divorce!
Yes – He does indeed hate divorce.
He hates the pain it causes to husbands and wives; and most importantly he hates the pain it causes children.
But He Does Not Hate YOU.
Our God is a God of love, mercy, and compassion.
He still loves you with all His heart.
He has already forgiven you.
That is why His son died – so that your father in heaven can forgive you.
Does God want you to sit at home moping around and feeling sorry for yourself?
Does He want you to hide yourself in shame – forever afraid and ashamed to move an inch?
Does He want you to remain frozen in the memories of your past wrongs?
The answer to all the above????
NO. NO. And NO again.
When Jesus told the paralysed man to ‘Get up, pick up your mat, and walk’ the man, in faith did exactly as Jesus instructed him to.
If he hadn’t done so he would have remained in exactly the same state – paralysed – not able to make any progress.
In the same way, those of you who are going through a tough time right now need to remember and hold on to these words from God.
“My plans are to prosper you, to give you hope and a future”
In other words, whilst everything may seem pointless and horrible right now, you must hold on to the truth that God wants the best for you.
It is NOT the end.
Over the next few months I will be facilitating a series of free seminars, titled ‘Get Up And Walk’.
The first of these seminars is specifically for those who are going through divorce.
Those that need help with;
– accepting their mistakes,
– accepting God’s forgiveness
– forgiving themselves
– moving on with their lives.
In short, those that need to Get Up And Walk.
Date : Saturday, 1st, June 2013
Time : 9am to 4pm
Venue : B Centre, Michaels Building, 1411 Adetokunbo Ademola Street, Victoria Island, Lagos
Fee : Absolutely Free